Listening- The #1 Skill in Network Marketing

With "listening" being one of the most important skills we can learn in Network Marketing, I’m amazed to discover how little importance it measures on the Richter scale of skills in training our new business partners.

Listening is one of the most neglected skills.  In school we learned to read, write, speak, but I can’t say I was ever offered a course on listening.   There is also  a HUGE difference between listening and hearing…….  I like to think of it this way. 

Hearing – not only do I see your mouth moving, but there is noise in the form of words coming from your direction too…..

Listening – you said you had a toothache and had to make an appointment to go to the dentist.  The appointment is tomorrow at 2:00PM

In Network Marketing, I think we’ve put the cart before the horse.  We’ve got a great opportunity, great products, services, etc….  We have that script for our presentation and we’re out there like heat seeking missiles looking for people to pounce on to give our presentation to. 

One of the most cliché’ ways we’ve learned to get our deal out there is to ask someone what they do.

We give them about 30 seconds (maybe a minute or two) to tell us, just knowing that the next statement from them should be "what do you do"…   BINGO!  It works.  I asked, they said, they asked and then I threw up on them about what I do.  Truth is, it was all about me and my deal.  I planned the conversation and it went according to my plan.  Except wait… it didn’t really, because after I threw up on the other person, all they wanted to do was get away from me. 

I’ve done it and had it done to me.  I know what it looks, feels and tastes like from both sides and I bet you do too.

I found these 10 commandments and wanted to share them with you because I believe they fit for Network Marketers just as much as in any other instance or situation.  Even though the post is from 1972… they still apply today.

Commandments of Good Listening – as posted by the Wildland Fire Leadership Development Program

• the first ten – from K. Davis, Human Behavior at Work, McGraw Hill, 1972
  1. Stop talking. Obvious, but not easy.
  2. Put the speaker at ease. Create a permissive, supportive climate in which the speaker will feel free to express himself or herself.
  3. Show a desire to listen. Act interested and mean it.
  4. Remove distractions. External preoccupation is less likely if nothing external is present to preoccupy you.
  5. Empathize. Try to experience to some degree the feelings the speaker is experiencing.
  6. Be patient. Give the speaker time to finish; don’t interrupt.
  7. Hold your temper. Don’t let your emotions obstruct your thoughts.
  8. Go easy on argument and criticism. Suspend judgment.
  9. Ask questions. If things are still unclear when a speaker has finished, ask questions which serve to clarify the intended meanings.
  10. Stop talking. In case you missed the first commandment.

One of the most important things I had to learn as I started developing my listening skills was to STOP planning conversations.  Frankly, it’s disrespectful to the other person.  Yes, I can have a general idea of where I’d like the conversation to go, but planning what to say should be left for speeches… not normal conversation one on one with someone else.

If I ask questions and truly listen, normally the person will tell me what they need or want.  Then my job is to ask more questions and LISTEN some more.  At some point, we’ll be able to mutually determine whether what I have to offer would be of interest…..  Besides, if they don’t want or need what I want to offer, they’re not going to LISTEN!

Learning to LISTEN IS a SKILL.  It takes practice and I believe it is also fundamental to building a legacy in Network Marketing.  SO, if you haven’t started working on your listening skills…. when do you think would be a good time? 

To YOUR Success
~Jennifer Fisher

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